Fierce Day

Today started out on a rough note (as shared on the Fierce Love: A 9-month Body Homecoming course [http://www.fiercelove.me/bodyhomecoming/] forum) :

"You're just a fat chick trying to justify being fat!

Since signing up for this course and starting to do some of the work, those are the words that keep replaying in  my head...and no matter what I do, no matter how much breathing, and loving, and focusing on the positives I try to do - it won't shut the F up!

Instead of just sitting here letting it fester and grow and get uglier and stronger and louder, I decided I'd just throw it up here for you all to see.

Thoughts?"

The day transitioned into contemplative reflections (as posted on Face Book) :

"Keely Sanderson is in a bit of quiet contemplative mood today...not bad, not good, neither here, nor there. Just noticing the world, my inner thoughts/feelings/reactions, and how they fit (or don't fit) together. Must be a blog in the making...but until then, just quiet contemplation."

Today ended with inspiration (I happened upon an impromptu jam session at  my fav local coffee shop where a local musician shared his song  "Bright Side " [listen to it here: http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_8581395]. The words in his song inspired me write) :

"If every single thing hadn't happened the way it did, with the people it did, at the time and place it did I could not and would not be in this very moment. If I had been any different, looked any different, felt any different or believed any different at the time that I experienced any part of life I would not have evolved to be the me I am in this very moment. At some point I may have ended up here, but it wouldn't be now. Yes, I would have eventually become close to the person that I am now, but it wouldn't be this precise me. All the shit and all the bliss that I am wading through would be multiplied and the getting through it would be much different. I have just what I can handle for today, and I am grateful for it. I shuddered to think that it could have taken me any longer to be right where I am, right in the now, had I chosen any other direction. If I were 10 pounds lighter, or one pound heavier it may have not turned out this way. In fact if I looked any other way, weighed anything different, laughed any different, cried any less, or wore a different size I would not be who I am preciously, currently. THIS is exactly were I need to be. Right here. THIS is exactly who I need to be. Right like this. Right now. It is the perfect moment for this moment. It is the perfect moment to be the perfect me. This specific day..hour...minute...moment. This specific Me. Fierce! Perfect."