Fierce Day

Today started out on a rough note (as shared on the Fierce Love: A 9-month Body Homecoming course [http://www.fiercelove.me/bodyhomecoming/] forum) :

"You're just a fat chick trying to justify being fat!

Since signing up for this course and starting to do some of the work, those are the words that keep replaying in  my head...and no matter what I do, no matter how much breathing, and loving, and focusing on the positives I try to do - it won't shut the F up!

Instead of just sitting here letting it fester and grow and get uglier and stronger and louder, I decided I'd just throw it up here for you all to see.

Thoughts?"

The day transitioned into contemplative reflections (as posted on Face Book) :

"Keely Sanderson is in a bit of quiet contemplative mood today...not bad, not good, neither here, nor there. Just noticing the world, my inner thoughts/feelings/reactions, and how they fit (or don't fit) together. Must be a blog in the making...but until then, just quiet contemplation."

Today ended with inspiration (I happened upon an impromptu jam session at  my fav local coffee shop where a local musician shared his song  "Bright Side " [listen to it here: http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_8581395]. The words in his song inspired me write) :

"If every single thing hadn't happened the way it did, with the people it did, at the time and place it did I could not and would not be in this very moment. If I had been any different, looked any different, felt any different or believed any different at the time that I experienced any part of life I would not have evolved to be the me I am in this very moment. At some point I may have ended up here, but it wouldn't be now. Yes, I would have eventually become close to the person that I am now, but it wouldn't be this precise me. All the shit and all the bliss that I am wading through would be multiplied and the getting through it would be much different. I have just what I can handle for today, and I am grateful for it. I shuddered to think that it could have taken me any longer to be right where I am, right in the now, had I chosen any other direction. If I were 10 pounds lighter, or one pound heavier it may have not turned out this way. In fact if I looked any other way, weighed anything different, laughed any different, cried any less, or wore a different size I would not be who I am preciously, currently. THIS is exactly were I need to be. Right here. THIS is exactly who I need to be. Right like this. Right now. It is the perfect moment for this moment. It is the perfect moment to be the perfect me. This specific day..hour...minute...moment. This specific Me. Fierce! Perfect."

Watch out - I'm IN!!

Just a quick note to shout it out:

I MADE IT INTO THE FIERCE LOVE COURSE!!!!!!

After my birthday bash yesterday I had $465 total from my lovely, amazing, friends and family. The course cost $500 and since I had a little tucked away, I was able to pay for the balance and sign up.

It's going to be a BIG FIERCE 9 months...

....stay tuned!

Big Birthday Wishes

June 1. It's my birthday, it's a celebration, it's every thing lovely. I love my birthday and plan to always celebrate it in a big fierce way. As I embark on this next year of my life I wish for a fierceness and boldness to grow in me with such ferver that I can hardly hold it in.  When I blow out my candles today I will be setting the intention to grow to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin and in this glorious body a little more every day.

One of the best parts of birthdays is opening gifts. I love the way the paper feels under my fingers right before I rip into it. I love the sight of tissue paper and the crinkling sound it makes as I dive in. And, I've always liked "things." I like to have stuff and to be surrounded by what I enjoy. But this year I've had this ephinay and I realize that I'm the best thing I've got going for myself and there is nothing better than I can invest in than me. It feels a little selfish and it seems a little (a lot, actually!) self centered, but I really need to focus in on me. Yes, my true birthday wish is for Fierce Love.

For the past several weeks I've been soliciting my friends and family for birthday gift donations towards an online course that the same ladies who created the Fierce Love for Every Body facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/FierceLoveEveryBody) are running. I've told my friends and family that this year I don't want more stuff, I want to take this class . The response has been really uplifting. The course starts tomorrow and I've recieved almost enough to pay for it! I'll know the grand total by the end of the day. 

The title of the class is "Fierce Love: A Nine Month Body Homecoming" (http://www.fiercelove.me/bodyhomecoming/) . Doesn't that sound fabulous? I can't believe the timing on the start date (the day after my birthday! How sweet is that?!) and feel, to the depth of my being, that I am meant to take this class. For the next nine months, I will be moving through some life changing ideas and expercing even more paradigm shifts. The excietment I am feeling can't be matched!

Now, please excuse me, I hear a birthday cake calling my name...